Thanks for the replies everyone. Don't worry about sounding mean pickles, or anyone else for that matter. I didn't post this to have random strangers on the internet make me feel I was right and they were wrong. If anything, I'd rather have the reverse, that I feel I was wrong and they were right, so I knew what behaviour to use to prevent similar situations from happening. So be honest, even if it drives me an uncomfortable position where I'll have to face some of my less desirable character traits. Also feel free to notify me if I and up becoming a bit too defensive, than I'll try and be more honest with myself.

And no, I'm male actually. but the remark made clear that I may have rushed through the way I and that professor related. He wasn't really unfair or anything to begin with, we had more of a growing process of displeasement with one another. This is what more or less caused me to only notice things were really going awry when it was too late, when the fallout had already happened. Because things got worse in little steps I failed to notice how bad it got, like a lobster being boiled.

I took on the project with a lack of group members, exactly because I wanted to have to work together as little as possible, to minimize having to sacrifice what I want from the project. I wanted to prevent what occured on the previous project to reoccur. This is likely the cause of my disposition at the start, which may have served as a starting point for the worsening relation with the professor.

As pickles said, my initial behaviour might also have pushed my teammate right into the position I was in during that previous project, where he felt he wasn't getting what he wanted out of it. I already noticed that halfway through, as I was wondering why he acted so incompetent. If my teammate was really as useless as he made himself out to be around me, there is no way he should've even gotten to this project. Not to mention that he did have his moments of brilliance, mostly when it didn't matter for the project, but still. So I specifically gave him more room to breathe, despite not feeling like I'd been overly controlling, but to no avail.

I never considered myself much of a control freak, although I've always been very bad at dealing with people trying to control me. This does get me labeled as arrogant more often than not, which I guess is true. This is probably why beyond anything, the threats pissed me off more than anything. The rest of the things I found frustrating did more to do away with any respect I had for the professor, which made it easier for me to go against him whenever I felt it was necessary. I felt going against him was necessary mostly because we had differing ideas on where we wanted the project to go. If we were after the same results, there would've been a lot less friction.

now on the 'chain of authority', there were three people who oversaw the project. A grad student (is that the word? studying for his PhD.) from our own university, The professor from a medical university, and a doctor from a hospital. The doctor was mostly there for giving medical advise, and was the one that originally asked for a project of this kind to be done. However, he gave us full freedom to explore and do as we wanted. The grad student was the most direct supervisor we had. The one responsible, so to say, from an educational point of view. Nice guy I have had little problems with. The medical professor was, as far as I was concerned, the grad students backup, since he would be more knowledgable and better capable of putting everything in an educational context. As of such, I found his overly controlling tendencies unwarrented. He himself probably had a different idea on his place in the 'chain of command'. Then there were me and my comerade. We were in charge, and considering there were only two of us, I considered it shared command, but since my comerade didn't assert himself in any way it felt a lot like I was in charge.

A note here that the professors of our own university who handled the classes that went with the project and oversaw the whole myriad of little projects had specifically said that we should become independent researchers, and that they would not look kindly on excuses such as 'supervisor X said we should do such and such, so we did such and such', so my claim to authority on the project is not based on pure arrogance that we should be in charge because we were doing all the work.

well, I think I made enough remarks on the circumstances for now. now for my own feelings on the matter:

I think that it is mostly a question of who had authority that really got things to get out of hand. From reading ch. 7 of your book dr. clay, I can see a lot of different things playing a role in things getting out of hand, and influencing the why and how of my anger. Much as I hoped, some of the anger I couldn't get rid of by rationalising other's behaviour already seems to have abated by just writing it down and talking about it with you all. It's not all gone, and could flare up again, so I'm not letting my guard down yet. I hope to get a better grip still on why things went wrong, so look forward to and will welcome any and all comments on that, or on how to prevent these things from happening and just become a better person. sorry for writing such a big text again, and thanks for reading.