I can relate.

It's not that I necessarily want to curl up into a ball, but I wish I could hide my face or just hide behind a giant stuffed animal because I'm often too ashamed.
It would be nice to have a huge pillow but my therapist hasn't got any, just very small ones. Besides, they're hers and it would feel weird.

For three sessions I brought my cuddle bear with me and it made me feel safe to be able to hold it in my arms but I stopped doing it because I see my therapist before going to work and the stuffed animal was too big for my purse and as I take public transport to go to work, I couldn't explain its presence with me to my colleagues.

I didn't want them to think I was insane.