Sadly I cannot tell you how to fix the situation. I just wanted to let you know that I am going through almost the exact same situation. My boyfriend is much older than me also and has lied to me over and over about a ton of things. Him quitting smoking has also been a huge issue for me. He says that I am being controlling and it has caused him to lie. Im not really sure how to make the situation better i just take it day by day. I do love him so much and we continue to work on things. He has never put a hand on me before so that can be a tricky situation. I just want you to know your not alone and im always here to talk.