Quote:
Originally Posted by angelicgoldfish05
Budfox, you mention the death of a family member. How long ago and what relation, if you don't mind my asking? From what I have read (and my obsession with my previous T cause quite an obsession... like years long, it was bad), this kind of thing can happen when you experience a great loss of another kind. For me it was my ex-fiance. We had been in a relationship for 6 years and it was breaking up. In the midst of this breakup, I saw my old T. I immediately transferred all my loving feelings I had had for my fiance onto my T. In this way, he held me together during a great upheaval in my life and a great loss. He was my glue. I was totally fragmented and going through I psychotic break that landed me in the psych ward. He was my bridge to sanity. He was my rock and my anchor. I realize you cannot place a human in God's place, but I did. I didn't mean to. It's just that you can't see God. And this T was a physical manifestation for me of a savior, just like I had learned about (religion).
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My father died about 12 yrs ago, then my mother 7 yrs ago (this preceded onset of illness and depression), then younger brother 2 yrs ago. The latter two were sudden, no warning.
Plus relationship with longtime partner/girlfriend has been on verge of ending for a while now.
Add in chronic illness and social isolation, and my ex T became a massively important figure in my life. Like you, total crisis and upheaval and thank god i have this wonderful T for support.
Funny, I saw her also as god-like and told her she was like a deity to me, or a guardian angel. Now almost a demon.