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Nammu · Feb 23, 2015, 07:35 PM

Not sure how I'm feeling. Kind of a delayed affect. I decided the weather was ok enough to get to my appointment with the Pnurse at my general docs office. I just check in with her every 6 to 8 weeks so they know how the psych stuff is going. The worse of the weather were the steps down from my apt, but they had put salt on them and by the time I returned the frist set was clear, the second set was mostly clear of ice.

Possible trigger:

In the course of the conversation she asked who abused me. I answered casually and added what he did to keep me from telling anyone. I always feel a bit defensive because I think people always wonder why I just didn't stay away since he was a neighbor. Her reaction was sort of a shock. She said she didn't know if she could have recovered from something like that. It's been so long since I've talked about this subject I forget how other people perceive it.

Anyway it stuck me anew that this is the reason I don't let people get close to me. I've often blamed my abusive marriage for the reason if people ask, and half tell me to get over it. I just don't talk about this. Now in some kind of a delayed reaction I'm terribly anxious.