I will tell you that I've been in therapy on and off for 20+ years and I decided over a year ago to quit indefinitely. For me (I stress that this is my situation and my opinion only), I didn't feel that it was getting to the root of the problem which are the core beliefs I have about myself and life. How could it? You'd have to go back and completely rewrite the fundamental things I learned from my mother (and subsequently the rest of the world, given her template) about who I am, my value, and my worth. And you can't do that. When I initially quit I was at a point where I was depressed, nothing was helping, I was frustrated, my T was frustrated, I could tell she dreaded seeing me, and I was like, "I am wasting money here. I'm done." And I do believe I am better for it. Honestly...I feel like most of my T's dreaded working with me once the BPD diagnosis was in effect. I literally had three T's either fire me or hand me off to another T once they determined I was borderline. Awesome. Great for the trust issues.

I don't believe it was all a waste of time. Over 20+ years, I'm sure I learned things that are so ingrained that I don't even know I got them from therapy, and there are other things that I consciously took from my interactions with various T's (or from my time(s) inpatient). Of course, now that I'm thinking about it, I can't name a one of those things. But they're there .

I think that it's just more work for some of us. And of course you have to be willing to change and to do work yourself, and maybe that's where my problem lies; maybe there's a part of me that is resistant and closed off. In fact, I know there is. I think that, for those of us with serious mental illnesses/personality disorders, if you're able to do so, therapy is a necessity. Just like insulin is for a diabetic. I know that I will try again. But I believe that I need to be ready to do so and in a good, healthy place when I start therapy instead of in crisis mode like I usually am when I start to see a new therapist.