I've never been diagnosed with OCD. I have some OCD behaviors but they don't interfere with my functioning. I think they help.

For instance, I am a minimalist. I don't like a lot of stuff. I only buy what I need. My only splurges are makeup, skincare, haircare products, coffee and good food when I can afford it.

Moving is always easy, because I can fit all of my belongings in my car.

I throw things out and give things away regularly. Sometimes I regret it because I realize I need something later, like a certain kind of makeup. I've given myself a time-out from throwing things away right now. I'll wait until I move again.

In order for me to cook a meal, the kitchen has to be completely clean. I have to wash all the dishes, wipe the counters, and sweep the floor. If the kitchen is a mess, there is no way I can focus on preparing food.

I like wide open spaces, and I HATE clutter. I have a few decorations in my house and most of the stuff that is out is stuff that I use. I hate it when a table is completely covered in useless knicknacks and then I have no place to put papers, office supplies, my phone, laptop, you know, important stuff.

If I am really stressed and can't calm down, I find that cleaning and organizing helps me. Last night I decided to mend some clothes. My sewing basket was a mess. The threads were all tangled up. I took everything out, and found the thread spools I needed for mending. When I finished mending, I rearranged the entire sewing basket. I separated the spools into different plastic baggies. I remember feeling so peaceful as I was sorting my spools of thread.

Organizing & sorting things is really fun for me. I should do it more often. Not everything has to be perfectly sorted and organized all the time, and I do let things go and get messy, but it always feels better when things are organized.

I wasn't always like this. My parents are huge packrats. I grew up in a very messy house and didn't know that it was messy. I was a packrat as a young teenager. I had this idea that I couldn't throw away anything except paper trash because of the environment. So I kept all my empty deodorant & hairspray bottles in drawers. I kept all my magazines in boxes. I really liked my stuff back then. I used to go through it, sort it, and admire it because it was MINE, but I didn't throw any of it away.

One day, when I was 16, I got out a box of my magazine and proudly showed them to a friend of mine. She said, "You're a packrat." I didn't even know what a packrat was but thought maybe what I was doing wasn't normal.

After that I started periodically going through my stuff and throwing things away every six months. So I became less attached to my stuff.

At age 30 I married a compulsive hoarder. That was a disaster. Our divorce was final last year. I lived with my parents for a couple years prior to my divorce and the mess was really hard to tolerate. Especially when my mother expected me to constantly clean her messes when I was also working and paying rent, and paying my own bills.

Now I am super **** about my own apartment. I like having control over my personal space because I haven't been in control of that for most of my life. The only people allowed in my apartment are my son and my sponsor. My mom would love to come in here and critique, and buy a bunch of stupid, flowery decorations and clutter the place up, but she is not welcome here.

Overall, I see these traits as a positive thing in my life. Perhaps over time I will learn to relax and not be so ****, but for now, I'm enjoying it.