My son same thing add & bipolar dx's. Since age 11 maybe 8 hospitalizations which I wish I could've avoided somehow. He's 19 now. The episodes are longer in between but still happening. He won't do meds. Risperdal gave him breast tissue he wouldn't take off his shirt in public for years. He's a skinny guy. We tried many meds.
I feel so bad what you must be feeling. I'm so sorry. My advice get him an IEP in school as early as possible to support his self esteem. And nurturing. That's what I'd go back & do if I could roll back time.
Big hugs