I'm sorry you're feeling badly. Still, you making me think of that Alinis Moriset song where she keeps contradicting herself. I think the name of it is, "hand in my pocket." My friend used to make fun of it and sing," I'm sad but I'm happy. I'm short but I'm really tall. It's night but it's morning, baaaby. And what it all comes down to, is everything's gonna be fine, fine , fine. Cuz I got one hand in my pocket and . . ." Hoping that will cheer you up.