Thank you for all the comments, JayneDough that actually helps me feel a bit better. And I feel the exact same conflicted way.

Striking, I do that already, but its hard. I have a soft toy from a friend that's attached to a handbag that I stroke when I'm anxious outside my home, I even get homework. Its just hard for me to do it all because most of the stuff I'm given is for people with anxiety or depression without a background that caused it. Eg: why do you think you get these thoughts? Me; I was told them. Over and over.

Haven't heard any new info on her mum, and have been feeling a bit better for the last few days, but this may be due to another friend moving in. He was about to become homeless otherwise.