Alcoholism certainly has a way with memory distortion. The alcoholic can know what they feel. Yet, not recognize their behaviors as harmful. It's the lacking of personal responsibility.
You'd think an apology and attempt to make amends would be in order, yet, that, too is part of the recovery process.
Sorry to hear you are going through this. Being ACOA brings it's own set of trials.
Sounds like she's trying to remind herself that she cares, albeit it plays out in a dysfunctional way.

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