I am so in awe of your ability to share this, I am with Emily. And you have a right to grieve., in your own time and manner. You were not designed to "get over it". motherhood is a powerful bond. So he's 16 and happy and has another mom wh's also whacked about him. He has probably had a life with rich experience because he was a chosen child. Chosen to be with his adoptive family who probably had to jump through fire with the adoption process. So in your pain I see a bittersweet beauty and miracle. What a dear woman to give you his life experience.
she sound like a great adoptive mom of a cool kid. I wish you peace with this. You deserve it so much.