Quote:
Originally Posted by Noonie224
Hi I'm new on this website.
I'm hoping I can get some ideas on how to help my daughter.
She is 11 in grade 6. All her life she's been a high achiever , with very little effort required. straight A's are her thing and she's very proud of herself.
Here is the problem :
She seems to have an over inflated sense of modesty, or humility. She is under performing so she fits in. We've been at this school 6 months. There are only 14 kids in her whole grade level. (Its a very small school). She's made a few friends, 2 boys but no girls. No one is really her type, although she is very popular. She is a very pretty tomboy who is not only academically brilliant but sporty and strong. She was voted Sports House Captain this year although she wanted to be School Captain. I guess you could say she's got it all.?.
She would like to be the Dux of the school but is reluctant to put herself forward. She is afraid of being judged by her classmates, and says if she does well on tests then they'll think she's a show off. So she is sabotaging her self by under performing.
How can I put a stop to this self limiting behaviour? ?
All I Want for her is to do her best, I think she has a duty to herself to try hard. So she can be happy with herself.
Please help
Thank you
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I think there's someone (or several people) bullying her. Someone is (or several classmates are) being really mean to her when she does well on tests I think, because I can't see her feeling self-concious like that unless she's "learnt" that she
should be self-concious about it.
The way you describe it sounds like she didn't feel this way before, but it is happening sort of lately, maybe the last year?
Children who are victims of bullying rarely speak out. I did the same thing. And, bullying doesn't even have to be saying mean things to a person, it could be something as simple as social exclusion - other children showing her in a non-verbal way that they will rather hang out with each other and would prefer her not to join into the group.
She's popular sure, but that does not mean they are not excluding her. I think you will often find these classmates are only friendly with her when they need help with their homework.