Quote:
Originally Posted by Echos Myron
I left because I kept being hurt. His boundaries were quite inconsistent at times, like he was very big on self disclosure, and encouraged email between sessions, but then would withdraw and go all 'professional' in his language and demeanour without warning and I found that confusing and painful.
I can relate to the thing about it feeling like a drug (in fact a line in a poem I once wrote went "I crave it like it's smack/I don't know where it's leading but I keep on going back")
I think I realised that I was going to be heartbroken either way, because I would never have the relationship I wanted with him, so I had to choose between the repeated pain of rejection, which I can't heal from in an ongoing relationship, or grief, which hurts even more, but that I can heal from.
Sometimes a T just doesn't have the skillset to deal with severe attachment issues. I think it's best in those cases that both client and T try to learn something from the situation and move on, though it's undoubtedly painful for both.
I hope you find healing going forward  |
Wow, pretty much everything you said fits what I have been through. Uncanny how close this is to what I experienced.
I hear you about a T not having the skill set and wanting to bail out, but isn't it their job to have these skills? Or if T is overwhelmed, seek supervision or consult with another T, take a break and do some additional training, anything besides just running away.
Or if T does not have them, then there should be a rigorous screening process or careful monitoring of the progression of treatment to make sure things do not get out of control. Because my T let me get deep into the ***** and then decided it was not working, and pushed me out the door to fend for myself. Was like a surgeon realizing mid-operation that they don't have the skills to finish the job.
I will move on eventually, just having trouble right now, in large part because subsequent Ts have not understood the attachment thing very well.