So sorry you're feeling this way. First part, probably anxiety, maybe a bit of OCD, fear of abandonment?

For the hearing part, check into Auditory Processing Disorder. Symptoms seem to match. (I've been investigating it for my daughter, but she's too young to be tested.) An audiologist could test for that.

Have you had therapy at all? You could check into low-cost or sliding-scale options.

Hugs!