I have a lot of happy memories, but when I think of them, I feel so sad. It hurts a lot to think about happier times with people who are now passed on, or things I did as a child, or just to catch a scent that smells like a place where I was happy. Thinking about even the good things in my past hurts terribly, because those people, those places, those things, the person I was back then - they're gone. There are a lot of bad things in my past, too, and the bad is intertwined with the good.

People talk about having happy memories that make them smile, memories of better times that give them hope or comfort. Mine just cause me so much pain. I feel like a failure that I can't seem to separate the good from the bad and appreciate it, but it just hurts.