View Single Post
dehuman
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Feb 24, 2015 at 04:50 PM
 
I was diagnosed as being schizotypal a few years ago. I looked up the criteria and with the exception of magical thinking it fit me to a T. The doctor prescribed me 1 mg Klonopin a day for anxiety and that seemed to help quite a bit. He was a really nice guy and we got along well but he recently moved his practice.

I was able to find another doctor to continue prescribing me medication but I didn't trust him and after only a couple visits decided to stop seeing him. I slowly tapered myself down from 1 mg daily and am currently at .25 mg a day, which really doesn't do anything for my anxiety, but I'll be able to finish tapering myself off without any foreseeable problems if I can keep my anxiety in check.

Finding another doctor isn't an option. My physician is willing to prescribe me an SSRI but is against prescribing me a benzodiazepine, and I'm against taking an SSRI so we're at an impasse. I don't want to go doctor shopping for a doctor that will continue my Klonopin so I'm just going to stop taking meds.

I have other potentially serious health issues my physician wants me to address but I'm not planing on it. They involve some invasive procedures and treatment will leave me in a bad way for an extended period. I don't have anyone I can depend on and can't afford to feel any worse than I already do, so I'm going to decline and take things as they come. I don't see the point anyway.

I have my own apartment, live alone, and spend almost all my time home alone. The only time I go out is to go to the store or laundromat and it's been almost three years since I've been to anyones house socially or had a visitor. I don't trust the people I used to consider friends and before I stopped visiting them it seemed like I couldn't wait to get out of there and get back home if I did. A phone is an unnecessary expense and I'm going to cancel my service when my contract runs out.

I live in a large apartment building but generally stay to myself and speak if spoken to. I stepped into the lobby a while back just in time to hear a couple of the people who work in the building talking about me, and to hear one of them say "There he is now" before they both stopped talking. They all look at me funny and now I feel like everything I say or do is fodder for gossip, so the less interaction I have with anyone the better.

I'd like to move but am on a fixed income and a good apartment is hard to find. I'm in a good location and it's within my budget so I can't really afford to move, but feel like they could kick me out at any time, or at least be glad to see me go.

Trouble with neighbors, trouble with management, trouble with people in general. It goes on and on but I don't want to go into detail or bore you anymore than I already have.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote