The other problem is I still haven't heard about my house re: foreclosure. After the very bad spell I had a few weeks ago from the stress of it, I began to have some confidence that I might be able to refinance and save my home. I've had good advice from people I trust, who have some knowledge of the field, who think that there is a good chance it will work out. But those are the same people who were sure I would get unemployment... so my confidence there is shaken as well.

Thing is, especially from what happened three weeks ago, I realize that even when I feel well, my wellness sits atop a very shaky house of cards.

That worries me in the short run but also how this is going to effect the rest of my life. I still do believe that once this extreme stress is past I will have more control, but who knows? Will the triggers of everyday life be a danger to me? Will I be so shaky that I won't be able to rebuild the security that I need to stop worrying about it? A lot of people can't hold a job because of this illness...