Feeling really scared right now...

I'm feeling really off...I'm frightened to take the step that is probably necessary. I don't like the "H" word...been there twice before...With out saying the words I want to find out if there is a bed at the location I've been to. "H" won't give that info out to the public so Julie says - fXXk her! I'm not going unless I know with out a doubt there is a bed available. Today would be a good day many discharges happen on Monday morning.

It really isn't that bad - I tell myself at least so I think - there is only 9 more hours before I can go to bed and four more before I can leave work - can I take one hour at a time?

I've email my T who wants me to talk Pdoc - I tried to call but as the VM was about to record I hung up - I'm afraid, so afraid to say the words...and then have no choice - I like choice.

What will happen with visitation of my children - would she try to take it away...

Well that is long enough for now...