I was told and reaffirmed more people pity after I'm dead. I'm holding my beliefs. I'm not afraid to die for them. I'm a six 28 from a 40 waistline. I'm still losing weight I will die from starvation. It feels justified. I don't ****ing care about feeling guilty. Why should I feel guilty for being so poorly. I don't want to live if my life is this. I wont be a pretty girl, surgery wont make me pretty. They will not force me to eat. I will fight till I'm dead young. I'm not afraid anymore I'm looking forward to it. I'm done being second to last in life by everyone I'm going to die alone.

I accepted my end. I don't want to die happy being miserable serving others who don't care. I worked too hard to be **** on. I can't escape these ungrateful parents friends and people who condemn me for feeling anything. They won't care I'm, my mom wants me to live with no emotion and hating well I'm going to die from this starvation very soon. When I'm skin and bones and my hair falls out and they be freaking out that they want me here. They can **** off. I make the rules they need to learn I'm not done object or accessory for their self loathing convenience. I'm tired of being everyone's piece of ****. If anyone who uses religion hell can welcome me in open arms. I don't care what happens me no rational reason to show I should care will change.

I don't want to hear reasons why. If you were in my place you be dead before I was that's not even a question. **** I am not hearing someone tell me they love me. If you really did you'd be here not making excuses. This is the **** everyone and everything. I'm no different I'm not here to impress, when I am at my last breathe I will give the bird and say peace ****ers.
My hatred comes from the evil side of negligence and ignorance and people who aren't actually my friend, savior, lover, mother, father, you're all more ****ed up than me so I'm running away the only way I can.