I'm wondering, are you in therapy? If so, definitely bring this up.

I do a lot of "realism testing." Instead of focusing on what might have happened, I try to break down what actually happened to see if my fears are justified. Usually they aren't. It takes practice - that's why I asked about therapy. It's pretty terrifying, because there is always the chance that your fears are right.

But - if they are right - then you have a chance to correct them, to apologize, or whatever it takes to make it right again.