to give to my therapist in session. A note that quickly explains my pain, is educational with facts perhaps about attachment and how I need help with it. I can't move on until this issue is addressed and learn what will happen; like him dumping me as a client because he cant deal with it.

I can not bear this attachment I have. It is all consuming, I can't function without daily contact with him, I feel defined by him and non-functioning without knowing he is in my life to help. I hate how desperate this part feels whenever I decide I need to drop therapy all together because it hurst so much. I become depressed, destraught and withdrawn as well as suicidal. I need his help navigating through these emotions but everytime I sit to write this note I cant do it.

I fully understand why this attachment happened. I have read enough on my own and have read about peoples suffering with it on this forum.

I am not in love with him. It is not sexual. I do love him but I am not sure in what capacity, father, dear friend, something else. I have never felt like this before so I do not know where to file it in my brain.

I can not deal with how this makes me hate all that I am for feeling like I am nothing without his help and attention in my life. It makes me feel small and broken, weak and pathetic.

I am overwhelmed by this and fear I am going to end up in the ER from a botched attempt of easing my pain.