<font color="#000088"> Most of the posts of mine that have had to be edited for content were the posts containing the details of the abuse I went through as a child,they were too graphic and triggering for the members.I couldn't post the details,the content was way too graphic,I was severely tortured! That answers your why most my posts have had to be edited concern.They were those posts,the one's in the mental health area.And I do carry a lot of anger around because the abuser got away with it,and lives in my town,and is now rubbing it in my face,bragging about getting away with ruining my life,and harrassing me over it!I was raised with survival of the fittest.I'm trying to change my ways,but even my neighborhood I come from,you have to watch your back,all the time,or you could get taken out.I've always had to protect myself,because nobody else is going to do it. I spent 2 years on the streets in the late 90's in Los Angeles,CA,you turn your back even once at the wrong time,it could mean your life.I've been shot,stabbed,raped,and I won't even get into the rest,I had to learn how to survive, so forgive me if my guard is up,it's always up!Imagine being a 20 yr old female alone on the streets of LA!How would you survive? Curl up with a doll,and just pray!It doesn't work that way,you're a target,at that age,and being a female makes it a lot scarier!You learn to protect yourself,or you don't survive!I was not going to be a prostitute!I had to fight for my freedom!I hope some of you can picture the situation,and put yourself in my shoes and see that I was protecting my self at all cost's and survived,and that's all I'm trying to do now!Sometimes I forget,that I'm not in LA anymore,and I'm okay,nobody is trying to hurt me,but it was very traumatic for me,I have PTSD,and I get flashbacks,but I'm trying to control myself.I wouldn't hurt anyone unless it was self-defence! Try to put yourself in my shoes for a minute and you just might see! </font>