I completely know what that feels like. Looking back on the past, it all seems so distant and it makes me wonder where all the good times went... I try to ignore the past because of the depressing feeling that comes with those recollections. Most of the time I try to focus on the present. I try to make the place that I'm at as pleasant and joyful as I can (even if it's not where I want to be). It might cause internal damage to ignore the past, but it's better than dwelling on it and giving in to the depression.... Stay strong!