According to my therapist, I am anorexic. I guess I am finally starting to beleive her, although I think I can stop when I want to, after a few more pounds. I haven't been this way for too long. She has threatened to go to my pdoc , who I see in 4 weeks, and tell her about me and my "rapid" weight loss. She mentioned she may take me off of of Topamax, which caused me to lose weight. She thinks that is what caused my ED. Topamax was prescibed for my bipolar and has been almost a miracle drug for me. Also, I'm scared to death that if I go off it, I'll gain weight. That will kill me!
My therapist doesn't seem to understand that I've been on the Slimfast diet since last August and that's why I've been losing weight, although it has come to me totally restricting food.
I have to think of a way to convince my pdoc that I need to stay on Topamax. I'm thinking of taking her pictures of me in the past where I was thin to show her that I am a thin girl normally. Being fat was just a temporary thing from all the psyche meds. ( I lost 70 pounds.)
Do you think if it comes to it, I'll just quit my therapist because I'm mad, and find a new pdoc, and do you think that a new pdoc will prescibe Topamax if he/she knows my background of an ED?
I lied to my therapist last week and told her I"ve been eating healthy for 2 weeks. I'm thinking of blowing off her appointment next week (which I've never done) because I'm upset with her and because I don't want her to notice that I've lost more weight.
I'm so confused. I just don't want to get fat! 5 more pounds and that's it. I'm done.
By the way, My BMI is Healthy so I am not underweight by far.
I apologize for the long post, just needed to vent.