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Yeah, the main problem with that is when I tell her "no you can't look through my phone/computer" she accuses me of hiding something from her and gets upset.
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You are allowing her to control your life if "she gets upset" means the end of whatever you might want to do.
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I think all that would do would upset her.
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You are allowing her to control your life if "she gets upset" means the end of whatever you might want to do.
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Telling her about anything from a new friend to a new interest of mine makes me anxious because I know there's a good chance of her not liking what I have to say and not letting me hear the end of it.
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Then don't tell her.
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Is there anything I can do to improve things with her and set some boundaries?
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Yes. You will need to deal with her getting upset and stick to your guns.
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I want to have a relationship with her, but I don't want it to make me be on edge everytime I'm around her.
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Unless you set some boundaries, the relationship will continue as it is now and you will continue to be on edge every time you are around her.
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prove that I'm not keeping a secret
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You are an adult and you are allowed to have secrets (= privacy) from your mother. You do not have to prove anything to her.