I can relate to what connect.the.stars is saying, and what your daughter is going through.

I was also really gifted at school (I was dux a few times), and the other kids didn't like it one bit. However, I didn't ever think of sabotaging myself in order to become popular with my classmates, and the results were that I became extremely isolated and unpopular with them and they hated me.

But, with that being said, the academic achievement was always more attractive to me than having many friends, so for me the choice was my work over social acceptance, because learning and being smart was extremely enjoyable for me. The pros of academic achievement far outweighed the cons of social un-acceptance, for me.

However, for your daughter, it seems social acceptance is really important for her. Now, there's nothing wrong with that. Being autistic with an INTJ personality and high IQ, I admit I am a bit of a monster/machine at times and my obsessions (including academics) can take centre stage at times. For her, she seems to have a well-developed sense of social understanding (unlike me) and if she feels that is equally or slightly more important to her than being respected (but hated) academically.

It will always differ from person to person. I knew another girl, just like your daughter, who was really smart and had the ability to even beat me on tests, but I also always used to get the sense she's holding back in order to be accepted by our classmates.

In my personal opinion, I think despite your daughter's efforts, they've already caught on that she's gifted and different. It's just my opinion, but I think she might as well go all out academically. That's how it was for me, I was being bullied anyway, so I figured, why not just then get my "money's worth" so to speak.

Kids are always going to bully those kids who are more gifted than them, because they are jealous. It sounds like your daughter has it all - she's good in sports and academics, and later on in high school she would be good at other extra-murals too.

It's just my opinion, but maybe speak with her, and tell her not to miss out on what she is capable of.

School is a stupid place with stupid customs and stupid social rules. She must transcend all that rubbish and not get caught up in it. One day when she gets a scholarship to a top university where she can socialize with real friends and smart young people like her, she will look back and say she was glad she changed her mind.

In my personal opinion, she shouldn't try to win the affections of these so-called classmates. They won't be there in the future when her life and psyche is damaged because of what they did.

She is a born winner and someone destined to reign in her own life.

Personally, I believe these so-called classmates don't deserve her friendship. She will never tell you, but I'm sure it's them that are bullying her. That's not the kind of friends you want, and they disappear out of her life when she reaches the end of her schooling.

She has to remember, if she gets B's and C's now instead of A's, one day when she's older and she regrets doing that (when these so-called friends have all dumped her and she's seen with her own eyes what low-lifes they truly are) she can never go back and change that.

It's better to have tried to do your best than to live with the regret of "I know I had the ability and I could've did that better."