I think the sense of safety and trust take time. If you don' particularly like your T, it is probably making it harder to open up to her. The right fit with a T makes a huge difference imo...
meds can be tricky also. not every med or combination works for everyone, so it's a lot of trial and error. I would suggest keeping your pdoc on the loop about how things really are going with the meds. she'll never know that they need to be tweaked if you tell her they are fine when they are not. it's not your fault (or anyones) that the meds don't work as you expect them to. It's just the nature of differences in biology. I would hope you rpdoc is aware of that.
you are not a let-down, you are just struggling right now.