It is sooo true what you said. Thank you so much!

It is extremely sad to me too, how the person who committed suicide was unable to realize just how much they are missed once they are gone and what a void their death leaves behind.

It took me years to believe that for myself too, whilst being suicidal. I couldn't imagine people missing me, even longing for me. From my vantage point it seemed so obvious that all people wanted was for me to be gone for good, nothing else.

It is so uncanny how people's reactions, non-verbal messages, implied messages, motions and interest levels (lack thereof) can really begin to appear as solid evidence of outright rejection/condemnation to the sufferer.

I don't think anyone who has never been faced with his/her own apparent "redundancy" or feeling of being a "nuisance" in society/to the people around him/her will ever truly know just how absolutely horrible it is to feel this kind of thing.

There are no words to describe to someone who has never been suicidal just how terrible it feels to be faced with what seems to be a genuine, irrefutable indication by others that the world is a better place without you in it.

I realize that one can always take up other people's reactions in many different ways, and maybe one should have a thicker-skin in life. But, sometimes one is just confronted with what seems to be undeniable hatred others have for one, as a person.

I am sure in the midst of feeling this way, people who end up executing the plan and actually follow through with the suicide are truly at a point where the evidence seems so crystal clear that their death will be more necessary than their next breath. I am sure at that moment in time, that individual is not thinking about any kind of personal gain (in the form of attention/remembrance) they might get out of it (OK, save a few really sick people of course, who will do anything for others to pay homage to them).

I think people who say suicide is selfish are grossly over-generalizing.

I wish you all the best, along with everyone who has posted here so far (and who still might) that we can all shake this truly horrible feeling, and help each other shake it. I hope we can all see our own worth again some day, and that those who make us feel unwanted or not needed are in the minority and do not represent the views of all the people we have, or might still, meet in our lifetime. All the best.