I think your avoidant behaviors stem from your borderline traits. Like avoidant people who become depressed because they are lonesome, you avoid people because your borderline impulsiveness and lack of boundaries make people seem unsafe. I bet if you work on your borderline issues, the parts of you that seem to be avoidant will diminish on their own.

You have to get to the bottom of the problem. If you treat the symptom instead of the problem you will never make progress.