This thing always upsets me.

My psych literally will not give me a straight diagnosis. I've asked very bluntly and clearly, outlined the options of I, II and NOS and asked which one I am. All he will tell me is I definitely am not bipolar I, and that I am rapid cycling, and then say that bipolar is a spectrum.

While I think I understand, I really hate that because it's hard for me. If I have to be bipolar, I'd like to have some grasp of what's wrong with me. I'm sad I can't give a straight answer to this question.

Since I have to do this myself, having gone through all the criteria, I know I'm not bipolar I as I've never had full-blown mania, and my one experience with identifiable hypomania didn't last long enough to qualify for BP II. So I have dubbed myself NOS, as it's the only one that works when I'm so wobbly on the criteria.

I might be in the cyclothymia camp, really, but I just don't fit the criteria of that, either. It's frustrating and part of why I've struggled so much with wondering if I'm really bipolar. At this point I'm just agreeing that I have some bipolar traits that haven't been a big deal since I went on medication, and leaving it at that.

Sorry for having a weird explanation. :P