Thanks dancinglady... sorry to hear your therapist "fired" you. That doesn't sound at all fair! I hope you have been able to find someone better since then.

Your response makes me think of a few things associated with the medical model of mental illness. I have a couple of critiques; don't take these the wrong way:

1) I wouldn't say BPD is milder in men; it depends on the person. One could just as easily argue that men are less verbal, so have less ability to talk out their problems or form a therapeutic relationship. But I don't think that would be a valid argument either.
2) I've read about older borderlines who've done very well in therapy. Just because you're "old" when you start, it doesn't mean you can't do well. It's a matter of getting the right quality and quantity of emotional support that a person needs. People can start moving in the right direction at any age. I'm not trying to be unrealistically optimistic ; getting better is hard work, but it's possible at any age.
3) As for BPD being a "disease", I wouldn't say it has the validity or reliability necessary to be considered a medical illness. For me it's more helpful to think of BPD as representing a vague spectrum of severe problems in handling relationships and adaptation to the world. That's different from thinking of it as "a disease," less concrete and pessimistic, although I understand you may not have intended it negatively. I hope that makes sense.