I think this is some good advice. I don't think I'm doing poorly at present, or being held back by anything, though.

I feel I'm not explaining this well...maybe an example would help?

Let's say I'm reading in bed and out of nowhere, I get a memory of being a little girl and my dad is dancing with me in front of the Christmas tree. Lots of good things there that are happy, it was a moment that made me happy.

But, there's a "but" in there. Bad things happened with my father when I was a teenager that were very painful. So I'm left looking at this happy thing, and instead of being happy, it just hurts. It makes me sad that I have happy memories but they might as well be bad ones, because of how much it hurts.

Or, I drive by the house of a friend who died, and I don't reminisce about good times and how wonderful they were, I feel regret and anger at myself that I wasn't a better friend.

It feels like so many of the good things in my life ended up horrible, to the point I don't have any happy memories that don't hurt.

I don't really know what to do, and like I said, I feel like a failure that I can't just enjoy the good times, or at the very least not have those memories bother me.