I have just returned from an extra session of therapy that I booked because I have been moving through some very difficult early childhood abuse issues and fell apart this past weekend. Today on the way to therapy I drove about 2 miles past T's street...had to turn around and drive back when I noticed I was in completely unfamiliar territory. Then I left the check I wrote him in the car, so I had to go back down in the elevator to retrieve it. So, by the time I got to his office,and into the comfy chair that I love and feel safe in, I told him I had not yet landed completely in my body since my fragmentation over the weekend. (I had spoken to him twice on Sunday.)

We spoke about how difficult the weekend had been and T explained some things to me. Then he has asked if I wanted to try something new. I said, okay. He asked me to follow him across the hall to another room -- I was very curious, needless to say.

In this room was a table covered with a cloth. It had a raised center so it looked like some sort of box was under the cloth. On the top of the table was a plastic baseball bat, or whiffle ball bat.(You know, those yellow ones they sell everywhere?) He demonstrated using the bat to hit the table with force and then asked me to do it. I jumped when he hit the table because I startle easily. Then I tried it myself. At first it felt strange. We talked a little, standing on either side of the table. Then, I realized I couldn't see T's face because he was standing in front of the window and there was a glare. This was unsettling to me, so I told him I couldn't see his face. He adjusted the blinds.

He told me that this was an exercise in claiming my power and in moving the energy from my head to my body. He has often said that I tend to intellectualize things, before I feel them. We discussed how energy is stored in the body. We talked some more about power--about how I perceive my power...and about feeling safe and where I feel safe--I told him I felt safe in the chair in his room and that I had looked forward to getting into it today! He promised we would go back in a moment. I wacked the table several more times. When I stopped, I felt strangely more in my body than I had in days. T said that was a common response to the exercise.

When we went back to the other room I was able to discuss things with him in a way I hadn't in quite a while, if ever. I was not nervous, nor did I float, or dissociate. I left feeling grounded.

On the way home, I realized that in the beginning of the exercise, I couldn't see T's face, and I was in a strange room, so I felt unsafe at first (strange room, strange man). Once I could see his face I was okay.........

It was a great session. He is a great T. I wonder what other tricks he has up his sleeve?

WOW!