My best friend does use those words because she feels that the "oddness" of my illness reflects poorly on her choice of friends in the eyes of her husband, her family.. we've talked about it before.. and I completely respect her feelings on this - we have been friends for 28 years - a very long close friendship - as close as sisters...

no I have no other family (my own sister and I are not in contact).. my two male friends, of 17 yrs and 8 yrs, when I became sick also "stepped" away - because I went on disability... one said something like "ahhhh chew" - Ok now I should be able to get social security cause I have a cold .. the other said " hmmm, maybe I should go on disability and become a home dad, instead of working - they must let anyone have it if you got it" and unfirtunately they were both serious - work ethic and all...

My other very good friend, she and her husband just retired and I saw her last week for the last time in a very long time as she and her hubby are moving... and I will miss her.. I will miss having coffee with her and talking...

My post was about my frustration.. and my complete failure to beat this illness... and I think about others inability to understand the illness....

I am on meds... and do see pdoc monthly and a new T (since dec) 2 times a week..

my son... his reaction hurts the most...

I know I am failing... I just don't know what to do anymore... except as I mentioned try to now find an MD that might be able to help..