Quote:
Originally Posted by Bipolartist
Long story short, I cut a mean person out of my life a while back and he said horrible things about me and even posted publicly the day I cut him off, "Take responsibility for your mental illness." Really? I take meds, see a psychiatrist and go to therapy every 3 weeks. I let him back into my life. Now he's getting mean again.
I'm afraid to cut him out of my life. I keep thinking, "Oh, forgive and forget." And, "What if it hurts him if I cut him off and ignore him?" I want to defend myself, but then he becomes enraged. When he's an asshole and someone calls him out on it, then they are the asshole. I've been obsessing about the terrible things he says to me and what he says about other people. I think I'm just going to ignore him, but for some reason I just keep going back for more torture. I think because cutting him off triggers my anxiety disorder and I get paranoid (I'm bipolar).
I'm really interested in seeing how other people have handled this type of situation.
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I can totally understand why you feel bad and are afraid of hurting him, even though he sounds like a total d**k. You have more empathy than he does, apparently, and that's a good thing.
But it sounds like he has mental issues of his own, and I'd make that clear to him. Just because people don't go to therapy or take meds or have diagnoses doesn't mean there's nothing wrong with them.
Narcissists tend to get enraged when they are called out on being assholes. Those with BPD do as well. And if he's posting publicly for you to "take responsibility," he's being impulsive and malicious. That wasn't coming from a kind place, I don't care how he might justify it.
He sounds really toxic. Maybe don't necessarily cut him off abruptly, because it sounds like he'll create more drama for you and won't just let you go anyway, but back away slowly. Just kind of fade away from him. Start disconnecting.
What are you anxious and paranoid about particularly if you just cut him off?