It's been twenty years since my divorce and i still get intrusive thoughts about my x -- especially when i go shopping in his end of town. I have never seen him, tho. I don't idolize him -- lots of times i'm angry with him. But a hate affair is just the flip side of a love affair. The healthy attitude would be one of indifference.

I think it's natural to think of someone who had such an enormous impact on my life. He's the only person i've been close to as an adult and i told him EVERYTHING -- to my deep regret. We were married and i planned to spend the rest of my life with him. It only follows that i will still think of him from time to time even twenty years after the fact.

I think of him LESS, tho, as time goes on. It's only natural to be preoccupied with someone right after a break-up, especially if it was against your will.

I've been diagnosed with traits of borderline.

It gets easier. Getting busy with other things helps. I hope you get some relief soon.