I was bullied all my life for one reason or another. I think any reason for bullying is incredibly stupid and utterly ridiculous.

I reserve the utmost pity for those who have bullied me over the years and only for them. They are usually sad inside and want to garner self confidence by making others look and feel worse than they do.

But back to the main topic at hand, I really have no clue why I'm always ganged up on or bullied....I guess people have that mob mentality. Why, I was once bullied so bad I'm still dealing with the psychological and emotional scars to this day.

Way back when I was struggling with coming to terms with my bisexuality, and very much in pain by it, repulsed by it, a girl in my class started this horrible rumor that my female friends and I (me also being a female), were intimately involved with one another. For a good solid week I had to deal with what seemed like every student sniggering about it when I walked down the hall.

Finally, my good friends and I had had enough and went to the school principal, there the classmate who started the rumor was suspended from school, but not without coming back with a whole new story to tell. She was bemoaning the abusive way her father had supposedly held her hand over a piping hot stove burner as punishment.

Don't know if that was necessarily true or not, but I can say for sure that she was very much desperate to be the center of attention, and didn't care at what cost it may have to those she used to garner that attention. Maybe she was being abused at home, and was coping in the only way she knew how.

Regardless, I have long stopped feeling hatred and animosity towards her, despite the horrible nagging feelings that I'm being laughed at for something or other by those around me while in public. I'm aware enough to know I'm probably imagining things, and keep having to tell myself to not fall for the paranoia, that it's all in my head. It's a constant struggle, and sometimes it gets the better of me. Who knows, maybe that classmate of mine just made my already existing problems of paranoia bubble to the surface. Maybe she did me an acutal favor.

In hind sight, now I'm feeling rather smug. She actually may have helped, rather than hindered. I could dance right now with that feeling swelling deep inside of me. I think I'm also done with this post. Ta ta.