seeminglyreal, It's no wonder any of us knows how to be ourselves given the pressures put on us by society to be one way one day and another way the next day. It definitely makes it difficult to know ones self. You may just want to do some research in this forum: Personality Place - Forums at Psych Central (not to say you have an actual personality disorder listed in this forum, but someone may have some helpful advice to offer.) Best wishes!!