This morning i broke up with my boyfriend as I just don't have the same feelings for him as he has for me. I don't think I was ready for a relationship when we started off last July and I still am not ready. He loves me and treats me wonderfully. In fact I don't think I have had any boyfriend who has treated me so well, especially considering I have been so unwell. So why don't I love him?? One theory I have is that my illness currently makes me unable to cope with the intimacy and as I feel so dead inside I just am not capable of love. I have tried to wait until the feelings came but they have not. Maybe it is just to do with how unwell I am right now. I am scared I have made a big mistake and now on top of feeling so damn low and irritable i have to deal with this.

Does having bipolar give anyone else similar problems? Maybe he just wasn't the one or maybe i have made a huge mistake. I am so confused right now and also scared about how depressed I am. I don't want to be alone all the time and now I will be as my friends are often MIA. Thankfully I have a very supportive Mum so she will be checking on me daily.