Last year in my horrific mixed episode I too broke up with my boyfriend. He is the most wonderful and supportive man, but a manchild and I got frustrated with him at times as he doesnt understand why he couldnt make me happy and it distressed both of us.

I felt ok after the break up but after about 2 weeks of online flirting with other people I realised I would never find anyone so sweet and caring. So I practically begged him to take me back while I was inpatient with a list of things I was looking to achieve in the future. He accepted me back and we pursued my short term goals together.

He expressed his disappointment when I got ill this time round but its not a horrid mixed state this time (so I am not so nasty) but it is an agitated depression, I manage not to take it out on him, and surprisingly he has been so supportive of me going inpatient for so long.

I feel guilty though as he misses me so much and is really struggling without me. I didnt expect that.

Thats just my experience , I can relate. I didnt think I was capable of love either but the boyfriend slowly showed me what it is again and I'll never forget again having him by my side.

Thats not to say you made a mistake, I have no idea of your relationship and maybe it was the best for you breakup in your current state of mind. I can relate to your feelings.