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This might be more of a reflection of my status as a dinosaur, but I believe it might have been better to approach him face-to-face rather than by e-mail. So much can/does get lost or miscommunicated in words on a screen. At this point, I think I'd find a way to let it go and not address it with him anymore. You told him how you felt about him yelling. You told him how you felt about his response to you. Seems to me the two of you will just keep going 'round if you bring it up again.
As for him yelling at the kids and your son's reaction. As someone else said, there are tons of different coaching styles. Yelling might not be effective with your son. Is there another team with a different coach that he could join?
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