I think I don't really believe they're going to fix anything. I have no faith in their ability to do anything for me, and I am deeply suspicious of them, though I admit I'm glad for the medication because it took care of the problem I was having.

I tried therapy for four months, had the same fear reaction even though she was very nice. I told the therapist and she never addressed it. I did make an honest effort, but she never got within a mile of me emotionally and I later realized I wanted it that way. Plus she spent the whole time talking about herself, heh.

I know I will never get anywhere in therapy with an attitude like this. I don't want to waste their time or mine when I would only go in there defensive, hating it, and spend the entire time being cheerful and skimming the surface so I can get out as quickly as possible.

I'm sorry, I'm shooting down suggestions and I know that's annoying. I'm really grateful just to know others experience this. It makes me feel better just to say how much I hate and fear medical professionals. Thank you guys.

I was wondering, does anybody have any tips for dealing with that kind of fear in a waiting room? I've tried knitting, reading, music, deep breathing. It keeps me from bolting but it never really makes me feel "better."