For me I was raised that crying was self pity and not being strong. It also just went against household rules since we had to keep the appearance of one happy perfect family. I just turned 40 and still struggle to cry, sometimes even alone. I try to instill in my goddaughter that it's alright to cry and she is entitled to her feelings, that are lines like she can't throw a tantrum because she didn't get a toy, but I want to reinforce in her everything g opposite I learned. Asking for help =weakness, "what happens in this house stays in this house", so I am frowned upon being the only one in my family in therapy. I finally began to cry in therapy yesterday and those old voices came back to leaping me to stop feeling sorry for myself, I think I had it bad, could have been a lot worse....so for me it was pounder in my head that ring =self pity, shame, and selfishness. However I try to hear others when they are crying, just be a shoulded, or show compassion so it is a two way street, but I am slowly learning but it is far from easy. I actually applied those who can cry and see the courage and strength it takes to be vulnerable let and authentic