((((((((( Friends )))))))))

My neice had to have surgery today. Steph came through surgery just fine. She's going to be in a lot of pain for a couple days, but the surgeon said this should bring her relief for 6 months to a year. That would be so good.

I, on the other hand, had one of the screwiest days of my life. Steph told me to meet her and my brother in the Surgery Waiting Room on the 2nd floor. I came early, as usual and waited and waited and waited... Finally I asked the lady at the counter if there was another waiting area. Low and behold, there was another surgery unit and it too was on the 2nd floor, but it was on the opposite end of the hospital. The nice lady walked with me approx. 5 miles, (well, it seemed like it), to the right surgery room. She took me the way the employees go.

I got there and it was going to be a while before Steph was taken back so my brother sat with her and I went down to get something to eat. I hadn't eaten at all. I tried to go back out the way I came in, but I couldn't do it. So, I asked a Resident and she told me she gets lost, too, but she could get me to the first floor. I thought that was utterly cool and thanked her many times.

I found the snack bar and ate. When I tried to leave, I couldn't find an exit. I looked everywhere and there was nothing but a wall of glass and wood. I asked someone how to exit, she looked at me like I was a moron and showed me the door. There, in tiny golden cursive letters was the word, "Exit". I thanked her and left feeling like a fool.

I found the way back up to the surgical unit the way the lady had taken me. When I stepped out of the elevator I found myself in a "staff" area and the door was locked. I was trapped. I do not do well feeling trapped. I found my way back to the elevator, but had no idea which button to push.

This is because in normal hospitals, the floors are in sequential order. Nope, not this hospital. It had 1F, 1R, 2F,2R, etc, and the floors are staggered around this huge open atrium. I found a security guard who told me he was sure he knew which floor I needed. It was the wrong floor and I got lost again. I got back on the elevator and hit a random button. (There were no signs, anywhere.) I got off on another floor, but it was still the wrong one. A nurse found me looking totally bewildered and showed me I needed to be across this three story gulf on another floor. She told me the right button and then I got off on the right floor. Then I had to wander around the halls, (again, no signs), until I found surgicare.

I was so relieved until I told the nurse I wanted to go back and sit with my neice and brother. The nurse told me Steph had left. I said, "Do you mean my neice is in surgery?" She said, "No, she left a long time ago." I said, "Where is my brother?" She said, "He went with her."

Growing ever more incredulous, I said, "You must not have understood her name. Her name is Steph *.*." The nurse said, "I'm telling you they left a long time ago." I said, "Did my brother leave a note or a message?" She said, "No".

I was becoming more and more convinced I was in the Twilight Zone. I had only been gone about thirty minutes. How could they have left and not waited to tell me Stef changed her mind???????

I kept asking the nurse if she was sure and she kept telling me was positive they left.

Finally I asked one more time, using Steph's full name and the nurse said, "Oh, she's still here." I said, "You just told me she was gone!" She said, "No, the ones that left were the *..*s". I admit the other people's last name sounded almost like ours, but by darn, it wasn't ours.

I finally got back to Steph and my brother was having a sugar drop and asked me to please hurry and get him something to drink and something for heartburn. I told him I didn't want to, but I would try.

So help me, I got lost again, twice! I won't even go into the details of that. My brother told me they had decided just to run my obituary in the paper and I could just haunt all the halls in the basement of the hospital!

The really bad blow came, when my brother said, "You have more education than almost anybody in this hospital and you can't even find your way here." Pouring his pop over his head wouldn't have solved anything...

I certify that the above is absolutely true although some of the details of being lost have been left out because it just takes too darn long to type it.

Jan


PS. I got lost trying to get back to my car, too.