More ****ing emotionally unstable than you all ready are learning you are???

I don't get therapy. All these 'replace your thoughts with happy things' live in the moment take a ****ing walk??!

Really??!! This is the **** that helps people??

I feel like back in kindergarten learning about ****ing sharing all over again.

Why does it frustrate me so much??? My primary T still thinks I'm stuck in limbo of debating whether I'm sick or not. I'm not doing that!!! I get it, I'm ****ing sick. I want to NOT be ****ing sick and DBT and CBT seems utterly ridiculous to me!!

It's been six months. Yes as T #2 pointed out- I did give up drinking and SI put I have up drinking because I am a stubborn *** and if they say my drinking is getting in the way of therapy, fine. I'll give them that one. SI the more I read the more I realized those who engage in those behaviours are dubbed 'really ****ing crazy' (sorry guys I'm one of you so no disrespect) so I managed to give that up but in loosing those my ED exploded and now I am classified by an ED Specialist 'an over exerciser'. Ummm NO! It's my ****ing healthy coping mechanism. Trying to use the ****ing 'tools' and get penalized for it!! I'm so frustrated.

This **** is ridiculous.

Sometimes I think my sweet oblivion was better than learning how broken my thought patterns are

Oh and now, NOW that I let my husband in on some of this (he who has his own ficking issues he refuses to awknowlwdge and ****s around with not taking his proper dose of Meds and is completely against how many I am on) will throw it back in my face- that is just what your mind thinks or you are filtering only hearing what you want to hear. NO actually I know full well what I heard I talk about something I regards to YOUR mental health and you throw it back at me like it's my ****ed up mind. Well **** you! My messed up mind is stronger than yours!!

Ugh. This rant got off topic fast.

Sorry. I am so frustrated. I have to go through all this crap to do tray work apparently when I thought I would just spill the details get some sort of magic fix, take some Meds for depression and get on with living ****ing life, but nope, I'm 31 and now have to not only see all the time I wasted being off in never never land but now have to spend boat loads of time 'healing'. I just want this **** to be over. I want this expending feeling of doom to want to go away. I want to WANT to live and stop going grouch the motions...

I just don't 'get' how DBT and CBT will gete there and I can't seem to just 'trust the process' when a larger part of me thinks the process is stupid :/