Hello & Welcome, ChristianaX. Your depression is framed by an extraordinarily complicated set of interpersonal relationships - I'm only stating the obvious. You are correct, not just any therapist will do.
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I would love advice on how to find a therapist and interview them on the first meeting. I keep thinking about meeting therapists and confronting them with questions like "Do you get judgemental on your patients and how do you personally manage and reduce your natural human tendency to get judgmental on your patient, affecting their treatment." Not necessarily good to go in with both fists swinging, metaphorically speaking.
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Go ahead and lead with both fists. Don't waste your time with candidates who can't handle you and your situation.
Please save your post above. You may want to use it in its entirety or mine it for future sessions with a therapist. I hope you can find the right one quickly.
Some PsychCentral articles:
10 Ways to Find a Good Therapist
How to Find a Good Therapist
How to Find a Therapist You Love
Also:
Psychotherapy Forum,
Relationships & Communication Forum
Please make yourself at home here.
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My dog

mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.