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Originally Posted by 20oney
Ok.. So pretty much, I started talking to an online counsellor, weekly.. It, so far had been ok.. I don't really have the guts at the moment to see someon face to face. So this is what in trying first..
The first 2 sessions, we're slow, we didn't get anywhere really.. This one today, felt like we started getting somewhere.. As in I finally got to say something's that have been on my mind..
She told me, that at first it's likely, to feel worse before feeling better.. I guess that means we haven't really got anywhere. I feel the same..
Every week though, it seems like a struggle to make it a week without talking.. I just think. All the time, think about what I want to say, how I want the session to go.. All that..
Is that normal?
I just don't really know.. It like I'm just desperately waiting to talk again.. It's really weird for me.. I have absolutely never shared emotions like these with people before !
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20oney. I started with a therapist 2 years ago and before our second scheduled session i was on the phone trying to get a sooner appointment. I had so much to unload that i just felt i couldn't wait any longer to pick up where we had left off. For the first time i really felt i was able to share some things that were bothering me. And i am still going. I STILL find it hard to share my emotions and feelings. I have serious trust issues. For me, i would rather do it online or via message or whatever because i want to hide if i can, BUT the other part of me needs to see her reactions and body language because that is how i develop trust. I like that sometimes we can just sit and connect without saying anything. I really need that, especially at the moment.
So i am sure your feelings are normal, especially if its been hard for you to trust in the past. Well done for starting on this journey.