One thing about me, all my life I have been putting everyone else's needs before mine. I don't quite know how to put me first, but through therapy, I'm trying to learn. So you can imagine this is a bit confusing for me. She constantly tells me I'm not selfish enough, when I think I am being selfish for practically breathing air. Just a little insight about the kind of person I am.

I can deal with change and the uncertainties in life without much issue, but that doesn't mean I have to like them! I've been a bit more vulnerable lately, and my T is aware that this situation is making it worse. That's where I gotta learn how to "deal" better. I think I've become more vulnerable since I started therapy. Of course, that's what therapy does.

I don't know how long this will last. She thinks pretty short term, but anything's possible. It's already gone on longer than I expected it to. I know it's not likely I will be willing to start this process all over again....so at this point I think it's her or no one. I'm waiting it out, but it's not been easy.