Almost seems worthwhile seeking out a trained clinician to help you overcome those moments when triggered and overwhelmed. Even, if meds are a final resort, for you, as it seems to be, for many, that's one path.
Another is attempting to seek healthy emotional coping skills for depression, not saying you have it, but your description sounds much like a symptom of depression.
I remember reading about ideas for managing the risk factors for impulse control. Coupled with new techniques for coping with triggers, could help. Wish I could recall where/when I'd ever come accross that, but again there's resources to research.

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